you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
