Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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