So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
