So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
