No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
