I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
