i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
