Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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