God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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