I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
