It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize