Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
