Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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