Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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