i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
