i barfeds in our rink
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize