he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
