what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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