he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize