absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
