Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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