That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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