who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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