Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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