The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
