this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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