so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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