at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
