her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
