this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
