I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This is classic penis vs brain.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
