me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he was CRYING into my vagina
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize
