Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
