just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
