whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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