Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
