thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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