if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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