did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
