Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
