Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
