I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
