I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
