She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize