i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Randomize
