apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
