I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
