are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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