definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she smelled like a LAN party
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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