no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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