Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
