Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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