I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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