I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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