Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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