Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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