All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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