did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
is wine microwaveable?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
