I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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