Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
