i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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