he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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