she was so not down for the gang bang
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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