This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
