do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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