Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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