Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
