thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize