Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
