I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
