Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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