Don't you send me to vm
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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