but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
