am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
