I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
