she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You can't special order awesome
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
