I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
